Transporting through Social-Distancing: Heart-Felt Contact

Taken in Lathrop, California 1982

In these days of social distancing feeling close to others, loved ones, family, extended family and friends is heart-wrenchingly difficult.

The next best experience of physical touch is heart to heart contact which can be done over great distances. Some of you may already know this. Here are a few suggestions and guidelines –

The Means

This can be a heart to heart contact — or making space for your loved ones — family, friends, marriage partner, lover — literally imagine a space next to you on the couch, chair, or bed and inviting their emotional presence to be near you. It helps to visualize how they appear to you.

And / or you can use the technology of phones, FaceTime, Skype or Zoom.

The heart is the source of emotion. There are neurons in the heart similar to the ones in our brains. Our cognitive processes (the neocortex) interpret, delineate and name emotions that we feel — from the heart. Our neocortex also screens love through opinions, beliefs and judgments to interpret love into a context that our egos can become attached to such as romantic love; love in a long-term relationship or marriage; or a parent’s love of a child for example. The love that is beyond ego is the resonance you may feel in your heart as you practice the “I-am”

Love is the underpinning of all emotions.

The purpose of the “I-Am” exercise is to activate and affirm our emotional presence.

One of my teachers, Bhante, lends his presence near to me since he left his body at 110. He taught meditation and the unwrapping of illusion to help reveal our Being within.

Being is love. Being does nothing. Being is.

Once ego is dropped, if for only a moment Being can be realized and enlightenment begins.

Practicing the “I-Am”

The technique (or listen to the audio):

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Find a chair, turn off or mute your phone for the next ten to fifteen minutes or so. Sit; leave your eyes open and pick a spot to look at on the floor. Later as you get the hang of it, you can do the I-Am anywhere without anyone noticing.

Breath-in focusing your attention on your sternum, the place between your pecs or your breasts and say “I” silently to yourself.

As you get to the top of your inhalation hold your breath a nano-second, or two.

As you exhale, still keeping your attention at your sternum, say silently to your-self “Am” on the out breath.

Repeat this for 7 to 12 times.

You may notice a resonance or a special sensual feeling developing there. Eventually you can drop holding your pause in breath at the top and do continuous “I-Am”s.

Make the Phone Call — the Skype — FaceTime — or Zoom contact as you notice the resonance or special feeling.

Listen and respond with your “I-Am” exercise or the resonance of your heart. You don’t have to continue to do the “I-Am” constantly throughout your audio and / or video contact, just when you remember and / or are listening.

Listen deeply with a softening heart.

Don’t offer advice.

Just be a witness to their sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, worry, fears, anxiety or their joy, fun, bliss, exuberance and / or love.

You’ll feel some of or all of those feelings too.

By merely witnessing your friend’s and/or loved-one’s emotions of course you’ll feel it in yourself and by being there for them you’ll act as vent to help release their negative feelings and celebrate the positive ones and yours in that moment.

After you get the hang of it you can teach the “I-Am” to your friends, relatives and/or loved-ones. In the meantime, if appropriate ask if they need help. Offer help if you can and if you want — don’t do it from obligation or the expectation of reciprocity.

The resonance or special feeling created at your sternum can enhance an emotional connection and remind us that we can connect through the love we feel in our hearts for one another.

In 1967 at age 15 I had this experience:

I stood surrounded by the sand in the luxurious quiet and breathed in relief under a hot sun.

A feeling spread over me:

Time seemed to stop. I was agog in wonder; my hands went to either side of my open mouth. When I let go of my arms they gracefully fell through woven layers of white light to my sides. I was surrounded by this light so refined, comforting and beautiful — I was filled with bliss. All the people of the earth were woven into this light so that distance had melted by love or light. We were all in a sea of light close and far simultaneously.

Words paled.

And in 2003:

I used to make space for my physically absent lover on the bench seat of my truck when I would drive home from work. We felt each other side by side when I did this.

The bond of our love grew stronger as a result.

If your having trouble with the “I-Am” you may be trying to hard, or you may need to get grounded first. Try a A_Grounding_Practice

Examining “seeing” & feeling expansive perspectives in the rainbow arc of life. Seeker of truth, healer, interdimensional traveler & author.